The amount of shit I got from family was ridiculous when I found out I was pregnant my second semester of college. Everyone told me I was going to fail after I left home to pursue having a family. The amount of stress I underwent was almost unbearable when I discovered my pregnancy. All I could think of was – drop out baby mama.
Discovering My Pregnancy
I was nineteen years old, driving a 1999 Toyota Corolla, working as a barista, while attending school full time. My plate was full enough, I cried and cried when I found out I was six months pregnant. What the hell was I supposed to do. I felt unfit and irresponsible, how the hell was I going to do it? After accepting the fact that I was going to have a baby, I worked things out with my boyfriend and I stayed positive. I was thankful I could carry a healthy child, happy I was with my high school sweet heart, and blessed that I had an opportunity to be a mother. I relaxed most of my pregnancy and left my job. I didn’t want to be bored all day and didn’t even have a nursery to decorate so I went to school and I took it serious!
Getting Sh#t Done (Financially)
After accepting the fact I was going to be a mom I took advantage of every program they offered on campus! I enrolled into a program called EOPS that gave away book vouchers (free money), gas cards (free money), meal tickets (free money), and free school supplies! When I was woddling around campus with my 7 month belly I asked for a special parking permit so carrying my books wouldn’t be so hard. I knew I couldn’t afford formula so I went to a local WIC office and learned about breastfeeding and healthy eating habits.
Taking Care of Myself
As stressful as this all sounded, I always took care of myself. Pedicures once in a while, followed by taking a day off to sleep in and eat a nutrious breakfast. My boyfriend was AMAZING during this transition and was always there to motivate me and spoil me with sweets and back rubs. I woke up like any other day and got ready and remained eating healthy along with walking daily.
My son was born a week after my second semester ended and right before my summer class started. I let all my professors know when I was expecting in case I’d miss class. When my son was born we lived with my in laws who were extremely helpful and bonded so good with my son. Again, I stayed home while my boyfried worked and it worked for us! I did deal with post-pardum depression and it was really hard motivating myself considering our financial needs along with making time for school.
Time to Hustle
Staying at home with our son was no longer an option and we both needed to work. Dad also needed a break along with a reliable car. I decided to work part time and applied to become a behavioral therapist. I was so excited to start this position and fell in love with the field! I worked only 15 hours a week but it worked for us. I took a combination of night classes and online classes so I could still care for our son. We slept in a living room on a foam mattress but I was only 2 miles from school and lived with our babysitter. I studied in the living room while breast feeding. As rough as this was for us, we still learned to be thankful, humble, and we continued hustled.
Bigger & Better Things
We decided to move into an apartment with our close friends and son. It was time we live on our own! My son was 6 months when we put our name on a lease for a 2br 2ba apartment, we were so excited! I was enrolled into classes at the same college, but now 35 miles away along with a toll bridge. After realizing how rough our commute was I had to drop my campus classes and remain an online student. I went back to being a stay at home mom while my boyfriend worked two jobs. We opted out our lease because there was too much on our plate at the time.
Back to square one
We did a lot of moving around after we left our lease. We house hopped between two houses and at one point my boyfriend and I didn’t live together. We were still a couple but we couldn’t live together due to our job situations. It made us stronger and we became closer. We tried again for another apartment, this time a smaller one. Within months we were back on our feet, both working and I was on my last semester! I commuted the 30 miles along with toll two days a week. I even went back to being a barista in the early mornings and a behavioral therapist in the afternoons. The schedule was insane but I loved it, there were moments I couldn’t spend with my son, days I had to wake up early to study, and weekends I had to miss to catch up on laundry.
I have faced many different situations that were pleasant and difficult. The reason I started this site was to give insight to women and men who were in the same position as my boyfriend and I. We cried, we laughed, we fought, and we succeeded. Mistakes are a part of life and are often our best learning experiences. I hope you enjoyed one of my most personal posts, look out for more!
Hard Hustlin’ Honeys